Why we as Indonesian may have difficulties in listening actively?

October 23, 2017 by No Comments

Since very young, we were experienced and exposed to a one-way discussion (or communication) with our parents and older people. In general, older people at that time (until the early ’90s) usually using judgment type sentences. Then, when we grew up since elementary schools up to high schools we were also exposed to competitions and the winner will be honoured, famous and have some awards.

The competition was started in entering famous schools and entering a famous school becoming proud of the parents. Then, we exposed by the announcement of ranking in the class (only on any academic performance) at the end of the academic year. This high-rank achievement made their parents very proud and usually, they will show it to others people (neighbour and relatives). 

When they go to university it was (is) a bit different, as the culture is free and open, however, entering a famous university is also proud of their parents. Unfortunately, when entering in a working environment, they will also face the same competitions environment like when we grew up from kindergarten until high school. Training (almost any training including leadership) in some institution, they, the trainee, will be scored and appreciated by ranking and usually, the highest rank for leadership training will have the fastest promotion and also rewards (which usually going abroad for a short course). My note was, in 2012/13 when I discussed with NUS, INSEAD and Thunderbird Uni reps, they said they do not have this award for any leadership classes.

Then, during their working life, people who always in a high rank, they likely feel they know everything and does not want to hear (intentionally or unintentionally) any comments and feedback, and they will just provide their opinion or trying to defend their opinion even though it may be have some opportunity for improvement.

Well, They might hear or accept new idea or information from others, but they tend not show it. They will show it after a while with some modification and it may become their idea, so they can be the champion again. This culture is already years, it may already part of their subconscious mind and probably already live in their amygdala. So, when other people in his/her organisation has idea, they tend to protect their self (position) automatically.

This is just probable reasons, and i have to discuss with more people to see my hypothesis is real or just a day dream. I believe there are a lot of good leaders and they do not know coaching but they are already using coaching style leadership, they are good listeners. Or maybe, they just use the coaching style leadership with their closed friend/colleque… who knows… (20170318) …

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